Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The State Of Dis-Union


I have only just begun to give Americans the change that they deserve. I have brought 72% the economy under my control in one year as soon as the health reform bill passes. I have given Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac a blank check to loan to any minority that they wish. I have a slush fund with which to pay any political allies that I wish; and I can withhold these funds from my opponents if I wish. I have given the black caucus 500 Billion to play with. Soon Chris Dodd will have a new Economic Czar ready to oversee the whole private sector for the betterment of the masses. Charlie Rangel and Barney Frank have a vast new tax reform bill almost ready to slip by on the people. It will look very good but there will be many new provisions to hinder the free traders. I have promised the UN and the G22/IMF over 200 Billion a year to hand over to the rulers of the third world as they see fit and trillions more is on the way to China and the Islamic world. I am doing my best to handcuff and out the war-mongering CIA and the military as a whole. The whole travel industry will soon fall to my control as well as soon as the next inevitable bombing occurs. The Jihadists are going to be given rights at our negotiating table. There are many of my allies in the Arabic Peninsula that will soon be coming to power. It is a given. State sovereignty will soon be a thing of the past. My plan is in progress to strangle the economy of any state that does not comply with federal mandates on healthcare or EPA regulations. 42 states are already almost bankrupt and when they come to me for help I WILL HAVE THEM! You bad, greedy, white, racist bankers better come up off of that TARP money and start loaning it to my favored groups if you want any more bailouts this year. I have no time for any profiteering except for in the government and union sector. I need a new VAT tax soon and Cap and trade legislation ready this year. After all we have 10,000 new government workers a month to feed now. The SEIU and ACORN along with the AFL-CIO and teachers unions to name a few, have been very helpful to me and we must pay them now and subsidize all their top of the line health plans. Soon the census will be overrun with my players and amnesty for illegals has been introduced in congress already. I want this bill passed this spring before the fall elections. There can be no delay. I will brook no debate on this issue. Yes I have accomplished much, but there is much more sacrifice that I want from the American people. You must soon submit to searches by INTERPOL, and UN troops. There are terrorists from the right in our midst and they must be rooted out and all their guns confiscated. The executive orders are being enacted now. Soon a net neutrality regulation will be imposed by the FTC and FCC. This will eliminate all need for congressional action. All speech and internet traffic will be monitored and opposing hateful rhetoric will be suppressed immediately for the good of the state. All facebook and web traffic is already being watched for political protest, as you know. Yes, I have done very well this year as a B+ president. My legacy is being erected and my greatness will soon be recognized by the whole world. Now is my time!

3 comments:

heyman said...

Sounds more like the guy has three sixes on his head.

Joe's New York said...

Reid should go, he's an idiot, bound and determined to destroy this country. But he shouldn't go because of something that he said, political correctness is just stupid. I'd much rather have politicians that spoke plainly and didn't mince words like Obammy does.

And by the way, I've never met a single person in this world who isn't biased against some group of people. You can call it being racist or what ever label that is PC at the moment, but it is a cold hard fact. People can dance around the subject and try to prove that they're not, but it always comes bubbling to the surface. So why try to hide what is naturally there?
I predict the furor will die down in a couple of days, with Reid keeping his job, but with his reputation–and that of his party–further tarnished. Not so much because of these remarks, but because of his party’s manner in handling them.

scott said...

I think I want to see Reid stay on until his bitter end this November. He will only keep gaffing it up and dragging his co-conspirators down with him.