Saturday, July 7, 2012

I Just Married This Beautiful Blonde...THEN

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

Today I decided to post some wedding decorations that I discovered while a friend was pondering his upcoming nuptials...Good luck to the guys who chose these toppers!
They may have discovered one unalterable fact however...A great sense of humor is a necessity when starting any new relationship.

A pretty blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...

Bill, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said," How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some
young woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

The popular blonde cheerleader bounced into the local
card shop, looked around, then approached the clerk.

"Do you have any, like, real special birthday cards?"
she asked.

"Yes, we do," he replied. "As a matter of fact, here's a
new one. It's inscribed, "To the Boy Who Got My Cherry."

"Wow, neat!" she squealed. "I'll take the whole box."

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all-different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service."

Marriage is a union. A union of heart, a union of soul, a union of minds, but wait till you have to pay those union dues.


Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Blond jokes ... cool.

Scottcarp Dreamer said...

Every guy knows at least one.