The Dear Leader wants to shove some more s*** down your throat. HE gives the order to his hand picked Jobs Council filled with Obamadonors,
Obama’s $300 billion lackluster jobs plan proposes:
1. Naming Teamsters President Jimmy Hoffa as Unicorn Czar. Hoffa will head a new agency, the Department of Unicorn Re-education and Training. Hoffa will be in charge of taking out Tea Party members and about half of the nation’s 20 million-plus unemployed in a new Unicorn Factory System, to be established at various federal property holdings throughout the country, and re-educating and training them to become unicorns.
2. Establishing a new back-to-work stimulus plan called Rainbows Across America. Each new unicorn will be put to work building rainbows that will span every acre of the country. The rainbows will bring every parcel of land under federal government control, effectively abolishing private property, thereby eliminating the need for American citizens to work to make their mortgage or rent payments, while corporations will cede control of the physical location of their business to the Teamsters. Unicorns will not receive pay, but for sustenance they’ll be given ample amounts of cake.
3. Creating the Barack Obama Caddy and Bus Driver Fund. Immediately following his speech, the president will go on permanent vacation until his presumed second inauguration in January 2013. Instead of running the country, Obama will embark on the I Take No Responsibility Bus Tour across America, stopping every day at a golf course to, of course, play golf. Obama expects a sizeable amount of sycophants to accompany him both on the road and at the golf course. Cabinet members and CongressCriminals will be invited, providing unemployed people at each stop with the opportunity to caddy for Obama et al for a day. Various people in each of the 57 states on the tour route -- handpicked from a list of those who’ve filed unemployment claims, received welfare or food stamps, or previously worked for ACORN during the past three years -- will be selected to drive the buses in Obama’s entourage.
4. Engineering the Restore Obama Stickers to America’s Cars program. The president will have the Treasury print Obama 2012 bumper stickers instead of money. Anyone not included in either the Rainbows Across America or Barack Obama Caddy and Bus Driver Fund programs will be ordered to place the bumper stickers on all cars in every Costco parking lot in America. Instead of a paycheck, participants will receive coupons for 7 free Costco Polish dog combo meals each week.
5. Enacting a Re-Elect Barack Obama Draft. All participants in the Thousand Points of Darkness plan will be conscripted into the Democratic Party and required to pre-cast 2012 ballots for Obama upon entering the program. Members of the Teamsters, SEIU, ACORN, and various other union and community organizations will stuff ballots, punch chads, and fill in electronic voting records in place of program participants in November 2012, thereby ensuring Obama’s re-election.
Otherwise, there’s no chance in hell he would win, even if he were running against the fly he publically murdered during a 2009 interview.
Cross-posted at PatDollard.co
1. Naming Teamsters President Jimmy Hoffa as Unicorn Czar. Hoffa will head a new agency, the Department of Unicorn Re-education and Training. Hoffa will be in charge of taking out Tea Party members and about half of the nation’s 20 million-plus unemployed in a new Unicorn Factory System, to be established at various federal property holdings throughout the country, and re-educating and training them to become unicorns.
2. Establishing a new back-to-work stimulus plan called Rainbows Across America. Each new unicorn will be put to work building rainbows that will span every acre of the country. The rainbows will bring every parcel of land under federal government control, effectively abolishing private property, thereby eliminating the need for American citizens to work to make their mortgage or rent payments, while corporations will cede control of the physical location of their business to the Teamsters. Unicorns will not receive pay, but for sustenance they’ll be given ample amounts of cake.
3. Creating the Barack Obama Caddy and Bus Driver Fund. Immediately following his speech, the president will go on permanent vacation until his presumed second inauguration in January 2013. Instead of running the country, Obama will embark on the I Take No Responsibility Bus Tour across America, stopping every day at a golf course to, of course, play golf. Obama expects a sizeable amount of sycophants to accompany him both on the road and at the golf course. Cabinet members and CongressCriminals will be invited, providing unemployed people at each stop with the opportunity to caddy for Obama et al for a day. Various people in each of the 57 states on the tour route -- handpicked from a list of those who’ve filed unemployment claims, received welfare or food stamps, or previously worked for ACORN during the past three years -- will be selected to drive the buses in Obama’s entourage.
4. Engineering the Restore Obama Stickers to America’s Cars program. The president will have the Treasury print Obama 2012 bumper stickers instead of money. Anyone not included in either the Rainbows Across America or Barack Obama Caddy and Bus Driver Fund programs will be ordered to place the bumper stickers on all cars in every Costco parking lot in America. Instead of a paycheck, participants will receive coupons for 7 free Costco Polish dog combo meals each week.
5. Enacting a Re-Elect Barack Obama Draft. All participants in the Thousand Points of Darkness plan will be conscripted into the Democratic Party and required to pre-cast 2012 ballots for Obama upon entering the program. Members of the Teamsters, SEIU, ACORN, and various other union and community organizations will stuff ballots, punch chads, and fill in electronic voting records in place of program participants in November 2012, thereby ensuring Obama’s re-election.
Otherwise, there’s no chance in hell he would win, even if he were running against the fly he publically murdered during a 2009 interview.
Cross-posted at PatDollard.co
H/T to Feed Your ADHD
Lots of news fit to wrap fish in today so read on below...
2 comments:
I'm voting for anybody but Obama if he's not impeached.
The Lefties may be starting to agree...oddly enouhh.
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